Severus is feeling Depressed
by wingnutdawn
Summary: Severus is sitting across the lake from the castle alone with his thoughts and Harry shows up
1. Depressed thoughts

**Severus is feeling Depressed**

Chapter 1-Depressed thoughts

It was a warm day, the wind was brisk and soothing across his face. His eyes scanned the horizon taking in the view from the edge of the lake. He viewed the stone of the castle and the bluffs on which it stood.

He felt less pressure while sitting here on this side of the lake. His desire to be left alone was great.

No one really cared what could happen to him, he was just one of life's cast-offs.

His eyes closed and he listened to the sound of the slow slapping of the waves on the shore beneath him.

The sound was soothing to his tortured soul as he sat there on the ground, his legs drawn up to his chest and his arms wrapped around his knees.

Severus was depressed, as for the umpteenth time when he tried to correct young Harry Potter for disobeying the school rules he was overruled by Albus Dumbledore. The boy was supposed to be the one to destroy Voldemort when he was older but Severus could not for the life of him see how. Harry refused to obey the rules set down for the safety of those residing in the castle.

Without the self discipline Severus felt Harry had to be taught there was going to be needless tragedy with many useful lives wasted.

' I wonder why Albus keeps giving Harry the idea that he isn't responsible for the consequences of his actions.'

'I know made a serious mistake myself when I listened to Lucius and joined Voldemorts death Eaters and l will pay for that the rest of my miserable existence. Nobody cared enough to prevent me from making my mistakes.

"I wonder what Albus had in mind by not wanting Harry to face discipline. Cannot Albus see the other students were beginning to despise the boy ? Even Granger and Weasley have occasionally turned their backs on Potter.'

'If only he didn't look so much like his d---ed father, I could stand him better myself, if it wasn't for his mother Lily's eyes looking out of that face I would upchuck the job of keeping an eye on that annoyance . He should by rights be Minervas pain not mine . He is a Griffindor after all.

But no, Albus expects me to play the heavy which makes me feel worse.'

" Sorry professor I didn't see you there."

Severus looked up quickly not expecting anybody to have come over to this desolated piece of land.

It was Potter, it figured, even here the boy would intrude on his thoughts.

Harry stood there with his broom in hand as he had come away from the castle to get away from his thoughts and here was the one person he really didn't want to be near, yet Snape looked so vulnerable sitting there not even noticing Harry till spoken to. That wasn't Professor Snape's style of behavior was it?

Severus thought 'I should say something l suppose but whats the use i'll only get in trouble from Albus so I won't speak to Potter at all.'

Severus motioned for the boy to sit down and then ignored him while still looking out across the lake.

Harry sat down a little bit away from the Professor and watched him and wondered why he felt an empathy for this man he despised and who he felt despised him back.

Harry thought he knew why Snape hated him so and had come to accept it. It was because he looked like his father and he knew they didn't get along in school.

He thought he had enjoyed seeing Snape, taken down by Albus each time he tried to discipline him but now seeing the professor just sitting there not saying a word, nor moving a muscle made Harry feel even more depressed than he was when he decided to fly over to this deserted stretch of land.

He knew the other students didn't like him, 'The Boy Who Lived' and that was only because of his mothers Love protecting him that he survived. Hermione and Ron were not pleased with him either. He knew he should obey the rules yet he felt that he had to be the Hero and do what he thought was needed to be done at that moment, so why did he feel so empty?

The pair of them sat there together, but not together each in their own thoughts till it was time to head back to the castle.


	2. Back at the castle

Chapter 2-Back at the castle

Severus got up and picked up his broomstick. He glanced back at Harry and then took off towards the castle. He was not in a talkative mood, not as if he ever was. All Severus wanted was to be left alone with his thoughts. He arrived back at the main entrance of the castle and went inside.. Minerva noticed him coming in, thinking it odd that he was not paying attention to two students from Griffindor who were arguing in the corridor. She went over and settled the two students and then looked down the corridor where Severus had gone. She wondered what was with him.

Meanwhile Harry, who had waited till the professor went off towards the castle before he picked up his broomstick, was thinking his own thoughts. Last night was interesting; at least now I know what really happened the night my parents were killed. Professor Lupin and Sirius Black showed Ron that his rat Scabbers was really Peter Pettigrew. Too bad he escaped though, if Professor Lupin didn't turn into a werewolf we may have been able to get Pettigrew to the castle and Sirius would have been proven innocent. Too bad for Snape, he had to find us. He must be pretty sore now.

But now Professor Snape was leaving for the castle and Harry wondered if he was going to give Harry trouble for going over to the other side of the lake when he got back. Yet, there were no words spoken between them at all when they were sitting there at the lake. It was eerie.

Harry arrived back at the castle and Professor McGonagall came over to talk to him. Before she said anything Harry told her he had gone off the grounds over to the other side of the lake, since he had thought Professor Snape had said something to her when he arrived. ''No, Professor Snape didn't say anything to me about you. In fact he seemed to be preoccupied,Professor McGonagall told Harry. Harry told her that the whole time they were sitting there Professor Snape didn't say anything or even acknowledge Harry's presence beyond indicating that Harry should sit down.

Severus went down to his study and sat down at his desk. He sighed and started to mark the student potion assignments. He marked a few then sat thinking of what he was going to do. As far as he could see his hands were tied. He felt like he was going against the stream and getting nowhere. How could he do his job as a teacher if every time he tried to discipline Potter he was corrected by Albus? It was discouraging to say the least. Well he could give the boy detentions, but that meant he was giving up his own limited free time.

Last night was not good: If I hadn't gone by Lupin's Office and noticed that blasted beaker still sitting on his desk, I would have not gone rushing out to give Lupin the beaker of potion. Even after endangering my life by going after them, Lupin still didn't take it since he became a werewolf and therefore a danger to everyone.

I took it to him instead of letting events take their course. Harry and friends had knocked me out and when I came around I saw them in trouble. Naturally, knowing their danger with a werewolf and the criminal Sirius Black at large, I took them to the castle and safety. I brought Black in didn't I? I could have left him there by the lake.

You think Fudge would have still realized that I brought Sirius Black in, just as one of the ministry Aurors would have done. I know Harry was involved, after all I'm not totally stupid, but Dumbledore made me seem like a fool in front of Fudge. He made it seem that the werewolf was the hero. He didn't even discipline those three brats for being out! For all that I lose my Order of Merlin? Sheesh¦ Why do I bother, I should have stayed in my study.


End file.
